An Eight Episode Trauma
by Timstyll
Summary: A spoof of all the stupid soap operas. EPISODES 6, 7, & 8 ARE NOW UP!!
1. Episode 1

**Eight Episode Trauma  
** I want to thank [Kristen][1] and Jenny for their help, and my homeroom class for the inspiration.  
  
Episode 1  


  
Amanda the evil jail escapee has escaped from jail and fled to the town of Galbadia where she meets Drew the evil juvenile delinquent when he is trying to hotwire her car. They fall in love and are kissing on what they think are abandoned railroad tracks when a train comes and hits them. They both then fall into a coma and are rescued off the tracks by Jenny the beautiful video game addict and her best friend Mary the gorgeous book addict while they were walking down the path by the tracks. They take them to the hospital where they are immediately put into intensive care. When they go to visit Amanda she awakes from her coma and screams "You did it!!" They then go to jail for whatever Amanda is accusing them of doing. The jail then burns down and they escape fleeing back to the hospital which has caught on fire from the jail. Jenny the beautiful video game addict then rescues Drew the evil juvenile delinquent from the fire. Drew the evil juvenile delinquent then wakes up in the arms of Jenny the beautiful video game addict and realizes that she is his one true love. Amanda the evil jail escapee then finds out that they are in love and tries to murder Jenny the beautiful video game addict, but her best friend Mary the gorgeous book addict comes and rescues her from the evil clutches of Amanda the evil jail escapee. Amanda the evil jail escapee then goes to jail, but because she is a jail escapee she escapes and comes back to hunt down Jenny the beautiful video game addict and her best friend Mary the gorgeous book addict. Then Drew the evil juvenile delinquent gets killed by a train and is reduced to a bloody mangle. When his friend Tony who is also an evil juvenile delinquent hears of this he comes to avenge his friend.  


End of Episode 1

   [1]: http://www.fanfiction.net/index.fic?action=directory-authorprofile&userid=79635



	2. Episode 2

**Eight Episode Trauma  
**   
Episode 2  


  
Amanda the evil jail escapee comes back to kill Jenny the beautiful video game addict but Mary the gorgeous book addict saves her. But, while Amanda the evil jail escapee is there she meets Tony the friend of Drew the evil juvenile delinquent who is also a juvenile delinquent and falls in love with him. They both run off together. Then Jenny the beautiful video game addict decides to go to California. She hops on a plane, but as soon as they take off the plane is hijacked by Amanda the evil jail escapee and Tony the friend of Drew the evil juvenile delinquent who is also a juvenile delinquent. They cut the fuel and prepare to commit suicide together. The plane heads down and then Jenny the beautiful video game addict jumps out of the baggage area and is saved by Mary the gorgeous book addict on her hang glider. They then finish the journey to California by hang gliding there. When safely landed there, Jenny the beautiful video game addict and Mary the gorgeous book addict meet up with the FBI who are trying to find out information on the mysterious hijacking/suicide plane crash. They discover that the FBI agents are really their old friends. (But because they are FBI agents we can't mention their real names in print.) Agents Shelayhe1, Shelayhe2, Mspalding, and Josh. Josh the FBI agent and Jenny the video game addict fall in love at first sight. Then, several days later, FBI agents Shelayhe1 and Shelayhe2 are investigating in an abandoned warehouse. Then the axe murderers Kristen/Quistel and Louie come and almost kill both of them. Shelayhe1 is saved by Mspalding and is uninjured while Shelayhe2 is saved by Mary the beautiful book addict. But, she is unconscious. So, Mary the book addict's friend Erica the doctor comes and gives her CPR. She is alive and mildly injured. To celebrate, they all take a vacation to Bora-Bora. However, they are followed by Kristin/Quistel and Louie the axe murderers.   


End of Episode 2


	3. Episode 3

**Eight Episode Trauma  
**   
Episode 3  


  
When at Bora-Bora, they were walking up the volcano named Lutocsh when all of them including Kristen/Quistel and Louie the axe murderers were taken captive by the Bora-Borahan natives to be sacrificed to their pagan gods. Before they could escape the natives, Louie the axe murderer and the FBI agent Mspadling were both killed as a sacrifice. Then when the natives weren't looking they all jumped off of a 20,000 ft high cliff and into the icy waters below. Miraculously, none of them died. They all swam to a ship that was floating in the waters nearby and got on only to realize that they were now the prisoners of the Shelayhe pirates. The Shelayhe pirates then took all of them to the island of Tinni-Inni-Onni-Onni where their queen named Bon-Bong lived. Once there they were taken before the queen. She said "If you will perform a task for me I will grant each of you one wish." "Of course!!" they all replied. "The task is that you must defeat the evil spirits who have died in plane crashes over the island and who now presently haunt it so that they will go away and never return." she said. So they all set off to defeat the evil spirits who have died in plane crashes over the island and who now presently haunt it, so that they could leave. By now all of them were working together just to get off the island so there was no more fighting between the axe murderer and the FBI agents. So they set off to get the sprite swords that will kill the evil spirits who have died in plane crashes over the island and who now presently haunt it when the sprite swords hit them in the foot. However, to get these swords they had to jump off another 20,000 ft cliff and dive 200 ft down into the ocean the get these sprite swords. They all got their swords and made it back to the battle place unharmed and uninjured. When at the set battle place the ghosts started to come out. Two of them were Amanda the evil jail escapee and Tony the friend of Drew the evil juvenile delinquent who is also a juvenile delinquent. Of course they were the first to die. All of the ghosts were killed and all of the good people lived and were not even injured. They went back to the queen victorious and she said she would grant them their wishes.   


End of Episode 3


	4. Episode 4

**Eight Episode Trauma  
**   
Episode 4  


  
The queen had said she would grant their wishes so they went around saying them. Erica who was a friend of Mary the book addict who is a doctor wished " I wish to be immortal." The queen replied " Glongen gleegen glogen glo, your wish has been granted so you may go. AAHHYEAAAHHHYAAAA!!!" Then she stepped aside and Jenny the beautiful video game addict stepped up for her wish, "I wish for a dragon named Spiro." The queen replied " Glongen gleegen glogen glo, your wish has been granted so you may go. AHHYEAAAHHHYAAAA!!!"  
Then she stepped aside and Shelayhe1 stepped up and said "I wish that Mspalding would come back to life and fall madly in love with me." The queen replied " Glongen gleegen glogen glo, your wish has been granted so you may go. AHHYEAAAHHHYAAAA!!!" She stepped aside and then Kristen/Quistel the axe murderer stepped up and made her wish " I wish that Louie the axe murderer would come back to life and fall madly in love with me." The queen replied   
"Glongen gleegen glogen glo, your wish has been granted so you may go. AHHYEAAAHHHYAAAA!!!" She stepped aside and Shelayhe2 stepped up and made her wish   
"I wish that Josh the FBI agent would fall madly in love with me." The queen replied " Glongen gleegen glogen glo, your wish has been granted so you may go. AHHYEAAAHHHYAAAA!!!"   
She stepped aside and Mary the gorgeous book addict stepped up and wished "I wish that Drew the evil juvenile delinquent would come back to life and fall in love with Jenny the beautiful video game addict." The queen replied " Glongen gleegen glogen glo, your wish has been granted so you may go. AHHYEAAAHHHYAAAA!!!" Then all the wishes were made and they left and were in instant transport to Miami to have their quadruple wedding. After that they went on their honeymoons to the Fiji Islands where they met Steven the evil taxi driver and Billy the evil plane pilot.   


End of Episode 4


	5. Episode 5

**Eight Episode Trauma  
**   
Episode 5  


  
While on the Fiji Islands the evil hotel owner Chelsea was planning to kill them. Chelsea the evil hotel owner owned the Dew Drop In Inn where everyone was staying. Their honeymoons were going pretty well until Chelsea the evil hotel owner who owned the Dew Drop In Inn ordered Kristin the gardener for the Dew Drop In Inn to start killing the plants. But Kristin the gardener for the Dew Drop In Inn had a weird mental problem where when she starts killing things and she can't stop. So, once she started killing the plants she went into her weird mental problem and killed Drew the evil juvenile delinquent. Then because when someone starts killing people the FBI agents Shelayhe1 and Shelayhe2 become possessed by the Shelayhe spirits and start killing people too. They then killed Josh the FBI agent and Mspalding the FBI agent. But, before they could kill anyone else, Mary the gorgeous book addict caught them and took them to one of her friends on the island who was Marlana the magician. Marlana the magician was a weird magician who could only grant wishes to possessed people. So, Shelayhe1 and Shelayhe2 both wished that Josh and Mspalding the FBI agents would come back to life and fall back in love with them. However, because they did not specify who fall in love with who, Mspalding fell in love with Shelayhe2 and Josh fell in love with Shelayhe1. Then everyone came out of their trance type things and everything was fine except for that the wrong people fell in love. Then Jenny the beautiful video game addict and Mary the gorgeous book addict decided that they should leave the Fiji Islands before anything else would happen. So they left in their motorboats but accidentally killed Chelsea the evil hotel owner of the Dew Drop In Inn in the engine of the second motorboat. They left the Fiji Islands and then headed off for Timbucktu. Also, just for the reference another person who was staying in the hotel at the same time was Melissa Strongley. But, she had accidentally made herself bald but didn't realize it until she tried to dye her hair blue but made her scalp blue instead. She also shaved off her eyebrows just for the record.   


End of Episode 5


	6. Episode 6

**Eight Episode Trauma  
**   
Episode 6  


  
Upon arriving in Timbuckto, Jennifer the beautiful video game addict and Mary the gorgeous book addict find themselves in the middle of a drug dealing scandal involving Max the drug dealer and Adam the sidekick of Max the drug dealer who also is a drug dealer. It seems that they were smuggling astroturf into Timbuckto and selling it to a cult. The police in Timbuckto didn't know what to do until Jennifer the beautiful video game addict and Mary the gorgeous book addict and their friends arrived on the scene. Unfortunately, before they could do anything Shelayhe1 and Shelayhe2 were taken into the cult and started smoking astroturf. Josh and Mspalding then swore to kill Max the drug dealer and Adam the sidekick of Max the drug dealer who also is a drug dealer for hooking Shelayhe1 and Shelayhe2 into the cult. Then they found out that Steven the evil taxi driver and Billy the evil plane pilot were now the leaders of the cult and were hypnotizing the members of the cult with the astroturf and turning them into animals that looked like zebras, but only had three legs. So, they decided to first kill Max the drug dealer and Adam the sidekick of Max the drug dealer who also is a drug dealer. They decided that the easiest way to do that would be to feed them to the poison fart snake that lived only in the jungles south of Timbuckto. To do that, they first went to the shack of Max the drug dealer and Adam the sidekick of Max the drug dealer who also is a drug dealer. There, they found Max the drug dealer and Adam the sidekick of Max the drug dealer who also is a drug dealer sleeping and piles of astroturf laying around them. So, they lit the astroturf on fire which turned the two into animals that looked like zebras, but only had three legs. Then they took the sleeping animals into the jungles south of Timbuckto so they could be eaten by the poison fart snake. However, since they forgot their noseplugs, when they tried to give Max the drug dealer and Adam the sidekick of Max the drug dealer who also is a drug dealer to the poison fart snake, they smelled one of his poison farts and Josh dies instantly. The others managed to escape unharmed. They then, only had to wait until the cult led by Steven the evil taxi driver and Billy the evil plane pilot ran out of astroturf. When they did run out, everyone attacked and killed Steven the evil taxi driver and Billy the evil plane pilot and saved the others. However, by then they had all been turned into animals that looked like zebras, but only had three legs. So, they took the animals and headed to Russia to find Katie the healer and Rachel the assistant to Katie the healer who was also a healer, to change back Shelayhe1 and Shelayhe2.   


End of Episode 6


	7. Episode 7

**Eight Episode Trauma  
**   
Episode 7  


  
On their way to Russia to find Katie the healer and Rachel the assistant to Katie the healer who was also a healer, Jennifer the beautiful video game addict, Mary the gorgeous book addict, and Mspalding (the FBI agent) are attacked by c, who tie them to trees and then leave them to die at the mercy of their "Gods". As it turns out, their gods are actually Kristen/Quistel the axe murderer, Louie the axe murderer, and their friend a rabid panda bear. Since becoming gods, they had repented from their evil ways and now like to be called c. Well, since they had repented and all, they couldn't just let them die from starvation. So, they decided to give them a good sporting chance at survival. They untied them and then sent their friend the rabid panda bear after them. They all managed to escape unharmed and were back on their way to Russia. Also, along the way they met a group of gypsies who thought they were the Beatles, another group of gypsies who thought they were N*SYNC, and yet another group of gypsies who thought they were gay. However, they made it to Russia within a couple of hours all looking fresh out of a magazine and not at all like they had just trekked from Timbuckto to Russia. Once in Russia, they found out that Katie the healer and Rachel the assistant to Katie the healer who was also a healer were located in the town of Ivegotareallybigbum. So they went to the town of Ivegotareallybigbum and found Katie the healer and Rachel the assistant to Katie the healer who was also a healer. They immediately turned Shelayhe1 and Shelayhe2 back into humans. However, in doing so, they managed to make it so they had the intelligence of two-year-olds. Jennifer the beautiful video game addict and Mary the gorgeous book addict then killed Katie the healer and Rachel the assistant to Katie the healer who was also a healer for being so stupid. The people of Ivegotareallybigbum told them that to get them to regain the rest of their intelligence they should take them to Leahzachandevan. The all powerful wizard who lived in Chachacha. So, they set out to Chachacha to find Leahzachandevan so that he could change Shelayhe1 and Shelayhe2 back to normal.   


End of Episode 7


	8. Episode 8 - The Finale

**Eight Episode Trauma  
**   
Episode 8  


  
Jennifer the beautiful the video game addict and Mary the gorgeous book addict were on their way to see Leahzachandevan to give their friends the rest of their intelligence. They reached Chachacha without any problems. The only problem was that a giant storm was coming, so they hurried up to Leahzachandevan's fortress at the top of the mountain of Muchobliged. Once their they saw something horrifying had happened. Leahzachandevan was dead. He was killed by Emilymartinandjoey, his evil twin. Then Emilymartinandjoey stepped out of the shadows with a malicious laugh and said "Your brains you never ever will get, so bring back everyone you've ever met." Then a portal to some other world opened and people started coming out of it. The people were: Amanda the evil jail escapee, Drew the evil juvenile delinquent, Tony the friend of Drew the evil juvenile delinquent who is also a juvenile delinquent, Shelayhe1, Shelayhe2, Mspalding, Josh, Kristen/Quistel the axe murderer, Louie the axe murderer, Erica the doctor, Bora-Borahan natives, the Shelayhe pirates, queen Bon-Bong, Steven the evil taxi driver, Billy the evil plane pilot, the evil hotel owner Chelsea, Kristin the gardener for the Dew Drop In Inn, Marlana the magician, Max the drug dealer, Adam the sidekick of Max the drug dealer who also is a drug dealer, Katie the healer, Rachel the assistant to Katie the healer who was also a healer, Persian natives, Elouise the god formerly known as Kristen/Quistel the axe murderer, Larry Bob the god formerly known as Louie the axe murderer, a group of gypsies who thought they were the Beatles, another group of gypsies who thought they were N*SYNC, and yet another group of gypsies who thought they were gay. Emilymartinandjoey looked shocked at how many people had come out. There were too many to stay inside the room, so they started to go out. He looked at Jennifer the beautiful the video game addict and Mary the gorgeous book addict and said "You've killed all these people?" Jennifer the beautiful the video game addict and Mary the gorgeous book addict just looked at each other. He said "Wow, you work fast." (Since this had all been done within one week.) Then he casts a spell that kills everyone who wasn't dead before and sends them all to hell through a secret portal that was hidden in the bathroom. Then Emilymartinandjoey send Jennifer the beautiful the video game addict and Mary the gorgeous book addict back to Galbadia. Once there, they walk off into the sunset. Unfortunately, they both hit their heads on the backdrop giving them both concussions just as the director yells "CUT!"   


The End


End file.
